Lil' Zelda Careers
by Winter Daze
Summary: HI!! Here's Lil' Zelda CAREERS!! Sequel to the sequel of Lil' Zelda High School!! Have I kept you waiting? ^-~ R+R!! [Chapter three: The One, The Only...The Boring Chapter!!]
1. Fires, Rice, Carrots, and Extra Mustard!...

**Lil' Zelda Careers: Fires, Rice, Carrots, and Extra Mustard!!**

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny! *looks around* Oh, wait......lemme try that again..............................HELLO!!!! ^_^ I'm back! This time with CAREERS!!! Heeheeheeheeheeeee!!!

Disclaimer: Me no own Zelda. Me only own my messed up mangas and fics. Me no own. You no sue.

*~+~*

(new line!!)

**Link: Le Jobless Flying Man (yes, I'm going to write the FIRST chapter like this...I just think it's easier to start a fic like this ^_^)  
Also...Zelda: Miss Executive Ma'am (there's kinda two people in this segment ^^)**

"Miss Zelda, Miss executive, ma'am!!!!" cried Link, running up to a blonde chick. She looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Um...I was wondering...." He shuffled his feet, and Zelda looked at him.

"Go on..." she said, blushing.

"...um...I've known you since preschool and all that...and..." He blushed.

"Yes?" she asked, excited.

"Um...........well...........can I have a raise?" he asked Zelda- his boss.

Zelda blinked.

Suddenly, Link was flying out of the second story window.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!"

He hit the ground with a loud...well...thunk.

"THUNK!!"

Yep.

*~+~*

**Malon: The Bar Singer...Oy...**

Suddenly, a soothing melody reached Link's ears.

"A 747, FELL OUTTA HEAVEN!! CRASHED THROUGH THE ROOF OF A 7-11!!! YOU'RE WORKIN ON A SLURPEE, THINGS GET HAZY...REACH FOR A TWINKIE, NOW YOU'RE PUSHIN UP DAISIES!!!"

...well...SORTA soothing.

Link looked in the direction of a bar. He walked in. Oh how blunt that sentence was!

"DO-YOU-KNOW-WHERE-YOU GONNA GO???" screamed an overenthusiastic redhead into a microphone. "STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN....OR DOWN THE HOOOOOOOLE?!?!" Then she screeched into the mic, killing off what was left of the cockroaches in the ceiling.

She was up on a stage, and then she grabbed some random guitar, and smashed it on a speaker. "AIEEEE!!!!"

Link blinked. "Malon??"

The redhead looked at him. Considering there was no audience, she walked off the stage to talk to him. "Yeah?"

"Is this that new, super-cool job you told me about?"

"..." Malon blinked, and was about to answer, but stopped herself. "Don't YOU have a "super-cool" job to be at?"

"..."

"Thought so."

Link sniffed the air. "Is something...burning?"

"No of course not..." She paused. "...wait...I DO smell something..."

"It smells oddly like a stringed musical instrument burning on top of an electronic speaker..." Both Malon and Link looked over to where Malon had smashed her random guitar.

It was on fire. More bluntness!

"CROIKEY!!"

"HURRY!! PUT IT OUT!!"

"........um......." Link grabbed a glass of water, and poured it on the flames. The flames practically doubled in size.

"CRAP! WHAT KIND OF WATER WAS THAT?!?!"

*~+~*

**Saria: Fire Fighter Chick  
Mido: Fire Fighter Dude**

Malon and Link ran around the room screaming their heads off.

Link crashed into the telephone.

"Hello. This is the operator."

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh......" Link looked at Malon, who was fanning the flames, trying to get them smaller. The were getting bigger. "Well...we have a fire...at the...um...random bar place."

"Oh. That's nice."

Link blinked, and looked at the phone. "Um...would you mind getting 911?"

"OK." The operator hung up.

"..." Link heard the clicky sound. "Um...hello? Hello? Hello? Miss Operator???????"

Malon ran over to Link, and kicked him. "YOU IDIOT! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! DO SOMETHING!!!!"

"...I just called 911...I think."

"YOU THINK???"

"Yeah." he said.

"Okay." They waited for about five minutes, occasionally running around screaming.

Suddenly they heard the siren thingy from a fire engine.

"YAY! We're saved!" shouted Malon. She started jumping up and down.

Link blinked. "...we could have just walked out the door."

"Oh, yes. We could have, couldn't we?"

Two people barged into the room. "Hey! You two! Get out! We're gonna disperse the flames!!" said one of them. But Malon and Link couldn't understand them, because of their headgear thingy.

To them, it sounded like it was saying, "RAAAWR!!! RAWR! ROAR! GROWL!! SNARL!!"

Malon started screaming. "EEEEEE!!! IT'S A MONSTER!! GET IT OUT! GET IT OOOOOOUT!!!!"

She and Link ran out the door.

One of the monsters looked at the other. It took it's helmet off.

It was a girl with green hair. She took a fire hose, and watered down the fire.

"That was simple, wasn't it Mido?"

"Yes it was, Saria."

Then, they heard looooud screaming. We're talkin LOUD. We're talkin "Dang, where's my earplugs?" loud!!

*~+~*

**Ganondorf: Miserable Dude  
Nabooru: Rice, Carrots, and extra Mustard Girl!!**

"GIVE ME SOME DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!! @#(*%^#(%*^#(%*^@#*%#(&#^%(*#^!!!!!!"

"I-I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-sorry, Ma'am....we don't serve rice, carrots, and extra mustard." stuttered the poor McDonald's cashier.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! THIS IS A *%!#%@$ MCDONALD'S!!! YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" screeched Nabooru at the top of her lungs.

"Um...Nabby? I don't think McDonald's HAS rice, carrot--" started Ganondorf.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME I WAS WRONG IN COMING HERE?! GANONDORF DRAGMIRE, IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD FROM YOU, YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE REST OF YOU RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD DEPRIVED LIFE!!!!"

Saria and Mido barged in, now magically wearing police uniforms.

"What seems to be the problem, here?!" shouted Mido.

Nabooru turned to them. "THEY WON'T GIVE ME ANY DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!!"

Saria blinked. "Nabooru? McDonald's doesn't HAVE rice, carrots, and extra mustard."

Nabooru grabbed Ganondorf by the neck and started shaking him. "YOU TOLD ME THEY HAD RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!"

"NO---*gasp*---I DIDN'T---*choke*--I REMEMBER!!"

Nabooru's eyes got wide. "I. MUST. HAVE. RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" She grabbed Ganondorf by the neck again, and dragged him out the door.

The McDonald's cashier blinked. "I need a new job..."

*~+~*

**Ruto: Sushi Woman!**

Nabooru barged into a sushi restaurant. "GIVE ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"

A blue lady behind the counter smiled. "Welcome to Ruto's Raw Rish Restaurant!!"

"Rish?" asked Ganondorf.

"FISH WITH AN 'R'!!! It matches our NAME!!!!" screamed the blue lady. I don't want to introduce her properly, so she'll just be Ruto. Controversial, no?

"Ah."

Nabooru turned red from rage. "DID YOU JUST IGNORE ME?!?! YOU (*&#^%*&@#^% FISH THAT #(*^%#(*^#% AND @#($*&%#$(*%& AND #(*&%^ SOME MORE!!! I ASKED FOR RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"

"OK!!" Ruto reached behind the counter and pulled out an orange lollipop. "That'll be $34.99!!"

Ganondorf raised his eyebrow. "For an orange lollip--"

Nabooru interrupted him. "THAT AIN'T RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"

"OH!! I thought you said 'Orange Lollipop'!!" Ruto pulled a plate of sushi out from under the counter. "That'll be $86.23!!!!!"

Nabooru screamed as loud as she could. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! YOU DEFORMED FIIIIISH!!!! I SHOULD HAVE EATEN YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Nabooru ran over to a corner in the restaurant. "Waaaaaaaaah!!! Nobody understands lil ol meeee!! *sniff sniff* I just wanted some rice, carrots, and extra mustard!" She started crying.

Ganondorf walked up to her. "Hun? Are you feeling OK?"

Nabooru stood up. "DO I LOOOOOOOOK OK?!?! I NEED SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!! WHERE ON THIS *^@^$)! PLANET CAN I GET SOME?!?!?!"

Nabooru grabbed Ganondorf by the neck again, and ran out of the store.

Ruto smiled. "Come again!!

*~+~*

**Anju: Popsicle Stand Lady  
Kafei: Popsicle Stand Guy**

After all this time, Link and Malon had only ran five yards away from the bar.

Coincidentally, they ran right into a popsicle stand. There was a girl with red hair, and a guy with purple hair running it.

"Anju? Kafei?" asked Malon. "Do you...err....work here?"

Anju and Kafei nodded.

"We've started our own business!!" said Anju proudly.

Link read the sign on the popsicle cart. "Anjafei's Popsicle Poppy Paradise?"

Kafei nodded. "I thought of it myself!!"

Suddenly, Nabooru and Ganondorf ran up to them. Will the truckload of coincidences never cease!!"

"GIVE ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!"

Anju smiled like a ditz. "I'm sorry. We don't have that flavor. You can try Grapes, Bread, and extra Tarter Sauce if you want!"

Nabooru thought it over for a whole two seconds. "NO!!! I NEED RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" She grabbed Link, and started thwacking him over the head. "GIVE. ME. SOME. RICE. CARROTS. AND EXTRA MUSTAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I-Ow!-don't-Ow!-know-Ow!-what-Ow!-you're-Ow!-talking-Ow!-ABOUT!!!!"

Nabooru closed her eyes. "IT'S SIMPLE!! JUST GET ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!!!"

Malon scratched her head. "How many times have you said that?"

"14 and still counting..." muttered Ganondorf.

Nabooru turned to him. "ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I SAY RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD TOO MUCH?!?!"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-nooooo!!!!"

"GOOD!!!"

Kafei looked at Nabooru. "Why do you need rice, carrots, and extra mustard?"

"I DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!! I JUST WANT IT!! IS THAT A CRIME?!?!"

"If you're beating up helpless people, and causing a commotion...YEAH!!" shouted Malon. She stood up on the popsicle stand. "IF YOU BEAT UP HELPLESS PEOPLE, CLAP YOUR HANDS!!! IF YOU'RE CAUSING A COMMOTION CLAP YOUR HANDS!!! IF NEED SOME RICE AND CARROTS, WITH SOME EXTRA-WEXTRA MUSTARD...IF YOU NEED THIS ICKY DISH, NOW CLAP YOUR HANDS!!!"

Nabooru narrowed her eyes. "I'll clap my hands, alright...." She walked up to Ganondorf. "AIE!!!" She smacked Ganondorf on his face as hard as she could. Which is pretty darn hard.

"AAAAAAUGH!!!!"

Nabooru turned to the popsicle stand people. "I'll be going now. Thank you!!" Smiling, she skipped off, with Ganondorf in tow.

Everyone stared off after them.

"That was............strange..."

"Queer..."

"Odd..."

"Bizarre..."

"Weird..."

"Peculiar..."

"Unusual..."

"Other synonyms for that word....."

*~+~*

*sweatdrop* Umm.......sorry for the crappy factor of this chapter....and the horrendous ending........and for being too long and not making sense........and for using the phrase "rice, carrots, and extra mustard" 21 times too many...and for having too much screaming...and--Oh, for goodness sakes! I'M SORRY THAT THIS SUCKED!!

But I had to get this up fast, because it's been WAY too long since College ended! Gah!!

**Poll!**

**Why do you think Nabooru was cranky, wanted rice, carrots, and extra mustard??**

**She has an eating disorder! I don't know what THAT has to do with anything, though...  
It's THAT time of the month! She wants to be cranky!!  
She's pregnant! Cravings, dude!  
She needs some for cooking!! Dirty rice is yummy!!  
She's hungry, and THAT'S just what she wanted!!  
I HAVE NO IDEA!!**

**TELL ME!! ^-^**


	2. Plans O' Stupidness!!!

**Lil' Zelda Careers: Plans O' Stupidness!!!**

Hm. I just noticed that Lil' Zelda...ain't so little anymore o.0;;

Poll: Most of you thought that she be pregnant! And you wanna know if you're right or wrong? Well.........you'll have to read to find out!! ^_^

Disclaimer: I just own this. *holds up computer* Oh, and this. *holds up bookcase full of books* Oh, and the clothes on my back. *turns around* Wait....all the clothes in those dressers.......and that TV.....and the desk....and that bed.......the vanity.......my video games.....*stops* Oh, whatever! I DON'T OWN ZELDA!!!! I DO own a lil Link action figure...but my dog chewed up his sword and sheild o.o;;

*~+~*

"Now what am I going to do?"

"I don't know. What are you going to do?"

"That's what I asked you."

"I don't know, then. What do you think you're going to do?"

"I don't know. What should I do?"

"I don't know. What do you think you SHOULD do?"

"I don't know."

Here, in the happy land of Hyrule City, we can clearly see that all is boring. But then again, we aren't even in the story, are we? Oh well. It's boring, anyway.

Malon and Link were sitting on some random sidewalk, talking.

"Now," said Link. "Again....what do you think I should do?"

Malon shrugged. "I don't know. What do you need done, again?"

Link thought a moment. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again to think some more. He repeated this action enough times, so that if you were walking past, you would think he was impersonating a fish for money. Then again, we aren't in this story, anyway. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Link snapped his fingers. "I remember! I need my job back from Zelda!"

"Riiiight...." Malon stared at him. "And how are you going to do that?"

".........................................................................I'VE GOT IT!!"

"What? What? What???"

Link smiled, proud of himself...for once..."I could raise enough money by doing fish impersonations, and buy cameras, a set, and a news crew, and I could start my own news show, and I could be known worldwide as Link Nolastname, and then I could do a good, business producing article on Zelda and her company, so she would be all happy and hire me again, and I could also do an article on Jacko the Magic Donkey! I doooooo love Jacko the Magic Donkey...."

Malon stared at him. "OOOOR.....you could just ask Zelda...or keep the money from your news show, and use that to make ends meet...."

Link grinned. "Sorry, I have selective hearing, I can't hear you. ANYWAY, let's begin!!! Malon, you help me!.......Malon? Malon???" Link looked around for her.

She had run away.

Lucky girl.

*~+~*

"DOESN'T ANYONE IN THIS STUPID TOWN HAVE RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD?!?! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"

"Ummm....Nabby??" asked Ganondorf. "Couldn't you....keep it _down_??"

Nabooru turned to him, and started growling. "WHY SHOULD I?!?!" She suddenly smiled, and grabbed his shirt collar. "I KNOW!!! WE CAN GO TO ZELDA'S BUSINESS!!! BIG EXECUTIVES **HAVE** TO HAVE RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD IN THEIR CANDY DISPENSERS!!!"

Ganondorf started whining. "But, Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabby!!!"

"SHUT UP!" Nabooru threw him onto their motorcycle. "TO ZELDA'S BIG BUSINESS THINGY!!!!"

Then they started driving away.

But then- the LAST thing ANY Zelda fanfic reader would EVER EXPECT TO HAPPEN...HAPPENED!!

They ran over Link. Uncanny, right? Right???

"AIEEEE!!!"

Nabooru stopped the motorcycle, and looked at Link. "WHADDYA DOIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?!"

"This...is the sidewalk...."

Nabooru frowned. "WHO PUT THE SIDEWALK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?!?!"

*~+~*

A/N: *begs for forgiveness* I'm sooooo sorry for this super short chappy!! I probably WOULDN'T have posted it, and waited to get inspiration, and give ya'll a looooong chap...but, ya know...o.0 It's been 2 stinkin months!!! .

So...sorry!! *gets on hands and knees* Forgiiiiive meeee!!!

**Poll!**

**What would you guys rather have?**

**Shorter chapters- meaning more updates!  
I don't care! Just update!!  
Longer chapters- meaning less updates!**


	3. The One, The Only...The Boring Chapter!!

**Lil' Zelda Careers: The One, The Only...The Boring Chapter!!**

w00t! I've been rejuvenated! *gulps down Mountain Dew* Aahhh.....*ahem* Um....yo, guys? This chap may be boring...but I have a note down at the bottom ^^

Poll: I don't care! Just update! ^.^

Disclaimer: Zelda be not mine.

*~+~*

Zelda sighed. The office just wasn't the same without Link.

Everything was so....different.

It was actually quiet enough to get work done.

Zelda crossed her arms. "I've gotta rehire him!" She said as she got up from her desk, and walked out of her office.

*~+~*

"So...How long are we supposed to be doing this?"

"Until we get enough money to make our own news station!" replied Link, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

Nabooru opened and closed her mouth. "Um...WHEN DO I GET MY RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD?!?!"

"Patience, young Nabooru," said Link. "Patience."

Unfortunately, that wasn't what Nabooru wanted to hear. And then Link went flying across the street via a fist.

"Wow!!" shouted an old man. "That was great!!" He poured one hundred bucks into Link's hat. "Fly again!!"

Link was hit with inspiration!! He could fly, instead of doing fish impersonations!!!

"Nabooru!!" shouted Link, running back across the street. "Hit me again! Hit me again!!"

Nabooru shook her head fervishly. "I don't want to hit you, until I get my...RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD, YOU LITTLE PUNK WHO PROMISES THINGS BUT DON'T LET THEM COME TRUE THEREFORE YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE, ITTY, BITTY PUNK AND I WILL NOT HIT YOOOOU!!!"

Link's mind raced with ideas to make her hit him. He thought of one.

"You're fat!!"

Nabooru's eyes started tearing up, and she turned to Ganondorf. "Am I getting f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-FAAAAAAAAT!??!!??!?!" She grabbed his collar and started shaking him. "AM I GETTING FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?" She started choking him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM IIIIIIIIIIIIIII FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????!!!!!!!!"

She threw him on the ground, and started running off. "I'm getting faaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!"

Link blinked. "Uuuuuuuuuuuh...............that worked......."

Luckily, some eccentric old lady thought it was funny, and gave Link enough money to buy a news station.

How so very convenient for a lazy author!!

*~+~*

Nabooru stomped into a nearby hospital, and walked up to the lady at the front desk. "I. NEED. TO. SEE. THE. DOCTOR. NOOOOOWW!!!!!!!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"LET ME SEE THE DOCTOR, YOU OLD HAG!!"

"Alright, one minute, miss...please sit down on one of those chairs."

Nabooru walked over to one of those chair thingies, and sat down. She waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited.........for about two minutes.

"WHERE IS THAT FREAKING DOCTOR?!?!?!" shouted Nabooru.

*~+~*

Link had just bought his news crew, and the whole news station. He was currently writing out the news.

"Are we going to have a popsicle section?" asked Kafei.

Link had, unfortunately for him, only been able to hire people that he knew. Because he just wanted to.

So, Kafei, Anju, Saria, Mido, Ruto, and Malon were the staff. It was small and....err....just small.

"No, we are not going to have a popsicle section," said Link. "We are going to have News, Sports, and Weather."

"Aw!" said Malon. "Is that IIIIIIIITT????"

"Yes! I'm going to ditch all of you guys as soon as Zelda rehires me!!"

Ruto frowned. "But, Linky-Poo-Bunny-Boy!! That's mean!"

"Well, I don't care!" said Link. He opened up his very important-looking clipboard. "Okay, Saria, Mido, and Ruto. You're Sports."

"All three of us?"

"YES ALL THREE OF YOU!" He cleared his throat. "Anju and Kafei- you are weather. Malon, you're co-anchor." He grinned. "The first thing we're doing is What The Weather Is, then How Sports Are Doing, then we go in with the news!!!"

*~+~*

"Okay, Miss Nabooru?" said the doctor as Nabooru sat on the very uncomfortable table with white paper all over it. "I'll have to run some tests!"

"Okay....but, Doc?" she asked. "May I please have some RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD IF IT ISN'T TOO DIFFICULT!!!"

The doctor reached into his desk, and pulled out a bowl of rice, carrots, and extra mustard. "Here you go, Miss Nabooru!!"

Nabooru's eyes lit up like those giant lights on the back of planes as she gobbled it up. She was oblivious to everything around her.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........."

The doctor yanked her food away. "AAAAAAAAAAA!!! GIMME THAT BAAAACK!!!" she shouted.

"Miss Nabooru," said the doctor. "You have a lover, yes?"

Nabooru nodded, though she was teary eyed over losing her food.

"Okay then. Miss Nabooru. You are pregnant."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*~+~*

Okies. So here's the scoop, Gorons and Gerudos! Writing Careers is NOT as fun as School. And I don't think it's as funny, either.

I wanna write Lil' Zelda Middle School, or something...but only if you guys want me to quickly wrap this up.

So, in other words, I want to only have, like, one or two more chapters in LZCa...and after I'm done with it- I'll get RIGHT on LZMS...what do you think?

**Poll!**

**What shall I dooooooo???**

**Yeah!!! Only have five or six chapters in LZCa...and then write LZMS!!!!  
Yeah, this one's not as fun. Finsh it, then write LZMS.  
I could care less...  
No, this one's really cool. Make as many chapters in this one as the other two.  
No! Have 13 chapters in this like the other ones! THEN write LZMS!!**


End file.
